That's why he should explain
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QuoteA user called to inform us that his laptop had a virus. When we asked why he thought he had a virus, he promptly explained that he must have a virus as his system would no longer fit in the docking station. It was later determined that it had a faulty port on the back of the system.
- Customer: "YOU GAVE ME A VIRUS!"
- Tech Support: "I don't think I've got a virus."
- Customer: "Go download [a brand of virus checker], and you'll see."
Sometime later I dutifully ran the checker.
Tech Support: "Ok, I ran it. No virus."
Customer: "You MUST have a virus. You gave it to me. It was all over my system. You must not have run the checker properly." (yell, rant, rave, repeat checks, etc)
Tech Support: "How did I give it to you?"
Customer: "On those floppies with the latest revision of the software you wrote."
Tech Support: "The ones you just returned?"
Tech Support: "Just a sec...let me check those." (pause) "Well, I found a virus on the disks. Ahem...seems you were about to pass a virus on to ME."
Customer: "Ah...lemme get back to you." (click)
- Customer: "Hi, I'd like to buy a virus."
- Me: "You really don't want a virus on your computer. What you need is anti-virus software."
- Customer: "No, my son told me I need a virus, and that's what I'd like."
- Me: "No worries. You don't need to buy a virus -- you can just connect to the internet and download one."
QuoteAs a hobby, I run old computer viruses on a standalone PC and record the effects, which I then put on YouTube. One user, who decided that I needed some help, offered me the following foolproof advice for removing viruses without expensive antivirus software:
Step 1: Open the registry.
Step 2: Delete anything that looks "strange."
- Customer: "I found a bug in my computer."
- Tech Support: "How do you know it's really a bug?"
- Customer: "I can see it."
- Tech Support: "You can physically see a bug in your computer?"
- Customer: "Yes."
Quote from: Omid Farhang on April 22, 2013, 06:53:05 amQuote from: scythe944 on April 21, 2013, 07:40:52 pm
All I saw was the cheezy built-in verification image, never worked well for me.
Do tell oh wise one, do tell!
Here is some of them:
- StopForumSpam.com: IP and Email Blacklists
- Akismet: It perform hundreds of tests to detect spams, Posts title and content is being watched and if they flag one being suspect, post will need approval of moderator to be showed.
- CloudFlare: Read it yourself here: https://www.cloudflare.com/features-security